A nap meeting is a gathering of two or more individuals for the purpose of resting together. It has all the benefits of a traditional meeting, with none of the speaking. Follow these eight points to run one with confidence.
- 1. Choose a venue: the best nap meetings take place on a large soft surface, preferably a rug or a bed.
- 2. Send the invitation: a single slow blink across the room is enough.
- 3. Arrange seating: all participants should be touching, or nearly touching.
- 4. Set the agenda: there is no agenda, which is why it works.
- 5. Begin the meeting: the chair lies down. The others follow.
- 6. Contribute: if you wish to speak, purr. A purr is a clear contribution that all can agree on.
- 7. Close the meeting: when everyone is asleep, the meeting is complete.
- 8. Follow up: send a minute, which is a very short nap.
Common Pitfalls
A nap meeting can go wrong in several ways. One participant may snore too loudly. Another may kick. A third may insist on a hat. These issues can be managed by establishing clear ground rules and a well stocked basket.
Measuring Success
A nap meeting is successful if everyone wakes up feeling rested and no one remembers what was discussed. If someone remembers, the meeting has failed, and a second meeting should be held to forget it.
Frequently Missed Opportunities
Some organisations hold nap meetings but fail to record the outcome. We recommend appointing a note taker. The note taker should be the lightest sleeper in the room, and should record the key decisions with a gentle paw on a notepad. The notes will be unreadable, but they will be there.
With practice, a nap meeting can become the most productive hour of the week. Or at least, the most peaceful.
Variations
Some organisations prefer to hold their nap meetings outdoors, in the garden, under a tree. Weather permitting, this is an excellent choice. Others hold them in the car, which is cramped but efficient. A small number hold them in the bath, which we do not recommend and which has never ended well.
This guide is a parody. Please use your judgement when replacing real meetings.